We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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