On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
