Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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