You can't motorboat a personality
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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