she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
