We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Are my feet made of real feet?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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