READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
