And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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