You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
