don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
