i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
