Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize