He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
