my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
