And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
