i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
