That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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