i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
