I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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