I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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