I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
