yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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