Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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