He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
