What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
