the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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