So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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