Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
