I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
