I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
