new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
