did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
