I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
