did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
