i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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