New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
