my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
