A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
