You're my little dorito
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
