Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
