Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
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I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
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let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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