so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
