i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
