If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
