Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I feel like a drive thru vagina
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
