I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
