In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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