first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
