Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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