ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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