so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
