i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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