k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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