So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
