you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
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There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
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You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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