guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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