he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
This show inspires me to have sex in space
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i out mim tonsoeep
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