Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
